To This Day by Shane Koyczan
To This Day
When I was a kid
I used to think that pork chops and karate chops
were the same thing
I thought they were both pork chops
and because my grandmother thought it was cute
and because they were my favourite
she let me keep doing it
not really a big deal
before I realized fat kids are not designed to climb trees
I fell out of a tree
and bruised the right side of my body
I didn’t want to tell my grandmother about it
because I was afraid I’d get in trouble
for playing somewhere that I shouldn’t have been
a few days later the gym teacher noticed the bruise
and I got sent to the principal’s office
from there I was sent to another small room
with a really nice lady
who asked me all kinds of questions
about my life at home
I saw no reason to lie
as far as I was concerned
life was pretty good
I told her “whenever I’m sad
my grandmother gives me karate chops”
this led to a full scale investigation
and I was removed from the house for three days
until they finally decided to ask how I got the bruises
news of this silly little story quickly spread through the school
and I earned my first nickname
to this day
I hate pork chops
I’m not the only kid
who grew up this way
surrounded by people who used to say
that rhyme about sticks and stones
as if broken bones
hurt more than the names we got called
and we got called them all
so we grew up believing no one
would ever fall in love with us
that we’d be lonely forever
that we’d never meet someone
to make us feel like the sun
was something they built for us
in their tool shed
so broken heart strings bled the blues
as we tried to empty ourselves
so we would feel nothing
don’t tell me that hurts less than a broken bone
that an ingrown life
is something surgeons can cut away
that there’s no way for it to metastasize
she was eight years old
our first day of grade three
when she got called ugly
we both got moved to the back of the class
so we would stop get bombarded by spit balls
but the school halls were a battleground
where we found ourselves outnumbered day after wretched day
we used to stay inside for recess
because outside was worse
outside we’d have to rehearse running away
or learn to stay still like statues giving no clues that we were there
in grade five they taped a sign to her desk
that read beware of dog
to this day
despite a loving husband
she doesn’t think she’s beautiful
because of a birthmark
that takes up a little less than half of her face
kids used to say she looks like a wrong answer
that someone tried to erase
but couldn’t quite get the job done
and they’ll never understand
that she’s raising two kids
whose definition of beauty
begins with the word mom
because they see her heart
before they see her skin
that she’s only ever always been amazing
was a broken branch
grafted onto a different family tree
but not because his parents opted for a different destiny
he was three when he became a mixed drink
of one part left alone
and two parts tragedy
started therapy in 8th grade
had a personality made up of tests and pills
lived like the uphills were mountains
and the downhills were cliffs
four fifths suicidal
a tidal wave of anti depressants
and an adolescence of being called popper
one part because of the pills
and ninety nine parts because of the cruelty
he tried to kill himself in grade ten
when a kid who still had his mom and dad
had the audacity to tell him “get over it” as if depression
is something that can be remedied
by any of the contents found in a first aid kit
to this day
he is a stick on TNT lit from both ends
could describe to you in detail the way the sky bends
in the moments before it’s about to fall
and despite an army of friends
who all call him an inspiration
he remains a conversation piece between people
who can’t understand
sometimes becoming drug free
has less to do with addiction
and more to do with sanity
we weren’t the only kids who grew up this way
to this day
kids are still being called names
the classics were
seems like each school has an arsenal of names
getting updated every year
and if a kid breaks in a school
and no one around chooses to hear
do they make a sound?
are they just the background noise
of a soundtrack stuck on repeat
when people say things like
kids can be cruel?
every school was a big top circus tent
and the pecking order went
from acrobats to lion tamers
from clowns to carnies
all of these were miles ahead of who we were
we were freaks
lobster claw boys and bearded ladies
juggling depression and loneliness playing solitaire spin the bottle
trying to kiss the wounded parts of ourselves and heal
but at night
while the others slept
we kept walking the tightrope
it was practice
some of us fell
but I want to tell them
that all of this shit
is just debris
leftover when we finally decide to smash all the things we thought
we used to be
and if you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself
get a better mirror
look a little closer
stare a little longer
because there’s something inside you
that made you keep trying
despite everyone who told you to quit
you built a cast around your broken heart
and signed it yourself
you signed it
“they were wrong”
because maybe you didn’t belong to a group or a click
maybe they decided to pick you last for basketball or everything
maybe you used to bring bruises and broken teeth
to show and tell but never told
because how can you hold your ground
if everyone around you wants to bury you beneath it
you have to believe that they were wrong
they have to be wrong
why else would we still be here?
we grew up learning to cheer on the underdog
because we see ourselves in them
we stem from a root planted in the belief
that we are not what we were called we are not abandoned cars stalled out and sitting empty on a highway
and if in some way we are
we only got out to walk and get gas
we are graduating members from the class of
fuck off we made it
not the faded echoes of voices crying out
names will never hurt me
but our lives will only ever always
continue to be
a balancing act
that has less to do with pain
and more to do with beauty.
This is from the same guy that did the “To this Day” video just it has way less views. I want to change that
The Black 01
When the world goes post-apocalyptic this is how I hope we all dress.
I would so wear all of this.
Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica, in nomine et virtute Domini Nostri Jesu Christi, eradicare et effugare a Dei Ecclesia, ab animabus ad imaginem Dei conditis ac pretioso divini Agni sanguine redemptis.
Lol get off my blog you crazy demons.
Thank you! :’) Well you didn’t say what kind of cop!au fics you’d prefer so I’m gonna recommend you fluff and smut too, if that’s okay
Word Count: 35,180
Summary: Detective Castiel Novak is renowned for two things; his unbroken arrest streak, and his refusal to work with a partner. So when he asks Dean for help on what looks like an open-and-shut case, he’s expecting to play yes-man to a pompous ass. Instead, the two of them get dragged into something bigger, and much more sinister, than either expect.
I liked this one very much. THIS IS A CASE FIC not really focused on their relationship.
Word Count: 85,563
Summary: Dean and Castiel are happy together, content with their lives and thrilled to be moving forward. Dean loves his job teaching third grade and Castiel, a War Vet, enjoys his position with the FBI. When a new lead comes up in a case, Castiel has to turn to Dean for help. Dean agrees without question. Things take a curious turn.
Castiel and Dean already are already in a relationship. It’s long and the ending if fluff. It was good.
Guilty In Loving In The First Degree
Word Count: 2,600
Summary: Iced coffee and pancakes. A match made in heaven. It’s too bad they’re on opposite sides of the law.
This fic was a surprise to me.I enjoyedreading it very much.
Chasing the Sky
Warnings: SPN AU about serial killers
Summary: AU. Round and round the bodies they go, in the game that only ever ends one way. Ironically enough, it’s the only way that Dean ever feels alive.
Sam and Dean are serial killers and Cas is an FBI agent. It’s a bit dark!fic but I loved reading this so yeah. Pretty well written.
Summary: “”C’mon, Cas, it’s like we’re Mulder and Scully, this is totally X-Files,” he says expansively, waving a hand around. It makes his tie flap and momentarily obscure the new and distracting belt buckle that just says “LUCKY” in huge, embarrassing reflective script in the early morning light. Castiel just stares blankly at him.
“I don’t know what that means,” Cas replies. Dean sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose under the bright yellow sunglasses.”
Word Count: ~27,000
it’s a Bones!AU
Word Count: idk
Summary: Dean and Cas are buddy cops faking a marriage for the benefits and tax breaks. Except for the part where Dean’s sort of actually in love with his partner and doesn’t realize it yet.
Well I love this cop!verse. A lot. So yeah. Read it.
Kiss you when it’s dangerous
Word Count: 58,000
Summary: When his partner Uriel, betrays him, Federal Agent Castiel Novak is saved from becoming a ritual sacrifice by brothers Dean and Sam Winchester. Discovering the world of the supernatural and learning about werewolves, wendigoes, vampires and things that go bump in the night also leads to learning more about Dean and the strange life he and his brother lead. The more he learns, the more Castiel finds himself drawn into Dean’s world and toward Dean himself.
Until Uriel wants to complete the ritual he started.
It’s very well written cop!Au with hunter!Dean and cop!Cas. Slow building romance fics are my favorite with the perfect amount of smut. YOU NEED TO READ THIS
MOTHERFCKING POINT PLEASANT
Word Count: 173,000
Summary: Dean Winchester grew up in the idyllic town of Point Pleasant, West Virginia. A terrifying encounter with the supernatural during his childhood shaped his worldview and served as the catalyst for his successful career as a bestselling horror writer. Dean left Point Pleasant at the age of twenty, driven from his hometown by rejection and heartbreak, but thirteen years after abandoning his home and family, Dean finds himself drawn back to the town by the promise of investigating the apparent reemergence of the supernatural creature responsible for Dean’s childhood nightmares. Once back in Point Pleasant, Dean is confronted not only by the town’s resident monster, the Mothman, but also by his childhood best friend, Castiel Novak. Together, with Bobby Singer—the old drunk who lives on the edge of town—Dean and Castiel uncover the mystery of Point Pleasant’s Mothman in all its terrifying reality. Point Pleasant is a horror story, but aims to show that the ghosts that haunt us are sometimes made of flesh and blood. And sometimes, they lead us home.
GO AND READ THIS RIGHT NOW. WHEN I SAY RIGHT NOW I MEAN GO CLICK ON THE LINK CLOSE EVERYTHING ELSE AND START READING THIS BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT GONNA REGRET IT IT’S JUST SO GOOD I CAN’T ASDFGHJKL
Show Me How to Love (And I’ll Show You How to Live)
Word Count: 29,000
Summary: Dean’s broken and he’s 95% sure he’s always been broken. He’s a Fed because he used to believe it would do some good and now? He’s not so sure. Castiel knows he’s broken and he can’t be fixed. He does as he’s told, kills who his uncle tells him to kill, and pretends that the nightmares don’t wake him up anymore. But they find some solace, some peace in each other, until the day it all comes crashing down.
THIS FIC WAS EXTRAORDINARY EXPERIENCE. Beautiful. I cried. A lot.
I’m crying right now.Mute!Cas, homophobia, extreme descriptions of murder etc; mind the warnings please.
So I hope this helped you and I wish you to enjoy your time reading these. Take care :3
|Song: I'll Make a Man Out of You|
|Artist: UCLA ScatterTones|
|Played: 1,076,425 times.|
Sweet mother of Jesus let this song never end.
Cheesus fuck that was amazing
WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE OH MY GOD
This is the best thing ever. Just hit play. You need to.
I will never escape this song in my lifetime. Oh my God…that was amazing.
At 3 seconds I almost pressed stop.
Then I heard the lyrics. Oh god the lyrics.
omg this is perfect
THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN I EXPECTED
I CANNOT BE THE ONLY ONE WHO IS SCREAMING SO FUCKING LOUD RIGHT NOW.
I was like “ok this is kinda cool but why are people so excited-OHMYGODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
OOC: FOREVER REBLOG.
:O ITS THIS ONE!!!!!
|Song: Fandom Theme Mash|
|Played: 216,012 times.|
I think I just went one step further…
1) I am the Doctor
2) The Avengers Theme
3) Hedwig’s Theme
4) He’s a Pirate
5) The Black Pearl
6) Merlin’s Arrival at Camelot
Just… just listen.
WHAT IS THIS MAGIC