tenttle:

To This Day by Shane Koyczan

 

To This Day

When I was a kid

I used to think that pork chops and karate chops

were the same thing

I thought they were both pork chops

and because my grandmother thought it was cute

and because they were my favourite

she let me keep doing it

 

not really a big deal

 

one day

before I realized fat kids are not designed to climb trees

I fell out of a tree

and bruised the right side of my body

 

I didn’t want to tell my grandmother about it

because I was afraid I’d get in trouble

for playing somewhere that I shouldn’t have been

 

a few days later the gym teacher noticed the bruise

and I got sent to the principal’s office

from there I was sent to another small room

with a really nice lady

who asked me all kinds of questions

about my life at home

 

I saw no reason to lie

as far as I was concerned

life was pretty good

I told her “whenever I’m sad

my grandmother gives me karate chops”

 

this led to a full scale investigation

and I was removed from the house for three days

until they finally decided to ask how I got the bruises

 

news of this silly little story quickly spread through the school

and I earned my first nickname

 

pork chop

 

to this day

I hate pork chops

 

I’m not the only kid

who grew up this way

surrounded by people who used to say

that rhyme about sticks and stones

as if broken bones

hurt more than the names we got called

and we got called them all

so we grew up believing no one

would ever fall in love with us

that we’d be lonely forever

that we’d never meet someone

to make us feel like the sun

was something they built for us

in their tool shed

so broken heart strings bled the blues

as we tried to empty ourselves

so we would feel nothing

don’t tell me that hurts less than a broken bone

that an ingrown life

is something surgeons can cut away

that there’s no way for it to metastasize

 

it does

 

she was eight years old

our first day of grade three

when she got called ugly

we both got moved to the back of the class

so we would stop get bombarded by spit balls

but the school halls were a battleground

where we found ourselves outnumbered day after wretched day

we used to stay inside for recess

because outside was worse

outside we’d have to rehearse running away

or learn to stay still like statues giving no clues that we were there

in grade five they taped a sign to her desk

that read beware of dog

 

to this day

despite a loving husband

she doesn’t think she’s beautiful

because of a birthmark

that takes up a little less than half of her face

kids used to say she looks like a wrong answer

that someone tried to erase

but couldn’t quite get the job done

and they’ll never understand

that she’s raising two kids

whose definition of beauty

begins with the word mom

because they see her heart

before they see her skin

that she’s only ever always been amazing

 

he

was a broken branch

grafted onto a different family tree

adopted

but not because his parents opted for a different destiny

he was three when he became a mixed drink

of one part left alone

and two parts tragedy

started therapy in 8th grade

had a personality made up of tests and pills

lived like the uphills were mountains

and the downhills were cliffs

four fifths suicidal

a tidal wave of anti depressants

and an adolescence of being called popper

one part because of the pills

and ninety nine parts because of the cruelty

he tried to kill himself in grade ten

when a kid who still had his mom and dad

had the audacity to tell him “get over it” as if depression

is something that can be remedied

by any of the contents found in a first aid kit

 

to this day

he is a stick on TNT lit from both ends

could describe to you in detail the way the sky bends

in the moments before it’s about to fall

and despite an army of friends

who all call him an inspiration

he remains a conversation piece between people

who can’t understand

sometimes becoming drug free

has less to do with addiction

and more to do with sanity

 

we weren’t the only kids who grew up this way

to this day

kids are still being called names

the classics were

hey stupid

hey spaz

seems like each school has an arsenal of names

getting updated every year

and if a kid breaks in a school

and no one around chooses to hear

do they make a sound?

are they just the background noise

of a soundtrack stuck on repeat

when people say things like

kids can be cruel?

every school was a big top circus tent

and the pecking order went

from acrobats to lion tamers

from clowns to carnies

all of these were miles ahead of who we were

we were freaks

lobster claw boys and bearded ladies

oddities

juggling depression and loneliness playing solitaire spin the bottle

trying to kiss the wounded parts of ourselves and heal

but at night

while the others slept

we kept walking the tightrope

it was practice

and yeah

some of us fell

 

but I want to tell them

that all of this shit

is just debris

leftover when we finally decide to smash all the things we thought

we used to be

and if you can’t see anything beautiful about yourself

get a better mirror

look a little closer

stare a little longer

because there’s something inside you

that made you keep trying

despite everyone who told you to quit

you built a cast around your broken heart

and signed it yourself

you signed it

“they were wrong”

because maybe you didn’t belong to a group or a click

maybe they decided to pick you last for basketball or everything

maybe you used to bring bruises and broken teeth

to show and tell but never told

because how can you hold your ground

if everyone around you wants to bury you beneath it

you have to believe that they were wrong

 

they have to be wrong

 

why else would we still be here?

we grew up learning to cheer on the underdog

because we see ourselves in them

we stem from a root planted in the belief

that we are not what we were called we are not abandoned cars stalled out and sitting empty on a highway

and if in some way we are

don’t worry

we only got out to walk and get gas

we are graduating members from the class of

fuck off we made it

not the faded echoes of voices crying out

names will never hurt me

 

of course

they did

 

but our lives will only ever always

continue to be

a balancing act

that has less to do with pain

and more to do with beauty.

leoneedsanoscar:

This is from the same guy that did the “To this Day” video just it has way less views. I want to change that

stalkingbit:

electricsed:

crassetination:

The Black 01

When the world goes post-apocalyptic this is how I hope we all dress.

I would so wear all of this.

PROTECTION POST

castayel:

meltingpenguins:

nutella0mutt:

sassygayangel:

heavenandhellcastiel:

steegeschnoeber:

shainecomeback:

heysammy:

Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica, in nomine et virtute Domini Nostri Jesu Christi, eradicare et effugare a Dei Ecclesia, ab animabus ad imaginem Dei conditis ac pretioso divini Agni sanguine redemptis.

Lol get off my blog you crazy demons.

too-precious-for-this-w0rld:

Thank you! :’) Well you didn’t say what kind of cop!au fics you’d prefer so I’m gonna recommend you fluff and smut too, if that’s okay

Rock&Roll

Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 35,180
Summary: Detective Castiel Novak is renowned for two things; his unbroken arrest streak, and his refusal to work with a partner. So when he asks Dean for help on what looks like an open-and-shut case, he’s expecting to play yes-man to a pompous ass. Instead, the two of them get dragged into something bigger, and much more sinister, than either expect.

I liked this one very much. THIS IS A CASE FIC not really focused on their relationship.

Sin with a Grin

Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 85,563
Summary: Dean and Castiel are happy together, content with their lives and thrilled to be moving forward. Dean loves his job teaching third grade and Castiel, a War Vet, enjoys his position with the FBI. When a new lead comes up in a case, Castiel has to turn to Dean for help. Dean agrees without question. Things take a curious turn.

Castiel and Dean already are already in a relationship. It’s long and the ending if fluff. It was good.

Guilty In Loving In The First Degree
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,600
Summary: Iced coffee and pancakes. A match made in heaven. It’s too bad they’re on opposite sides of the law. 

This fic was a surprise to me.I enjoyedreading it very much.

Chasing the Sky
Rating: R/M
Warnings: SPN AU about serial killers
Wordcount: ~12,000 
Summary: AU. Round and round the bodies they go, in the game that only ever ends one way. Ironically enough, it’s the only way that Dean ever feels alive.

Sam and Dean are serial killers and Cas is an FBI agent. It’s a bit dark!fic but I loved reading this so yeah. Pretty well written.

Excerpts From Carver Edlund’s Magnum Opus

Rating: NC-17
Summary: “”C’mon, Cas, it’s like we’re Mulder and Scully, this is totally X-Files,” he says expansively, waving a hand around. It makes his tie flap and momentarily obscure the new and distracting belt buckle that just says “LUCKY” in huge, embarrassing reflective script in the early morning light. Castiel just stares blankly at him.
“I don’t know what that means,” Cas replies. Dean sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose under the bright yellow sunglasses.”
Word Count: ~27,000

it’s a Bones!AU

deans1911’s Cop!AU

Rating: M

Word Count: idk

Summary: Dean and Cas are buddy cops faking a marriage for the benefits and tax breaks.  Except for the part where Dean’s sort of actually in love with his partner and doesn’t realize it yet.

Well I love this cop!verse. A lot. So yeah. Read it.

PERSONAL FAVORITES

Kiss you when it’s dangerous
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 58,000
Summary: When his partner Uriel, betrays him, Federal Agent Castiel Novak is saved from becoming a ritual sacrifice by brothers Dean and Sam Winchester. Discovering the world of the supernatural and learning about werewolves, wendigoes, vampires and things that go bump in the night also leads to learning more about Dean and the strange life he and his brother lead. The more he learns, the more Castiel finds himself drawn into Dean’s world and toward Dean himself.
Until Uriel wants to complete the ritual he started.

It’s very well written cop!Au with hunter!Dean and cop!Cas. Slow building romance fics are my favorite with the perfect amount of smut. YOU NEED TO READ THIS

MOTHERFCKING POINT PLEASANT

Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 173,000
Summary: Dean Winchester grew up in the idyllic town of Point Pleasant, West Virginia. A terrifying encounter with the supernatural during his childhood shaped his worldview and served as the catalyst for his successful career as a bestselling horror writer. Dean left Point Pleasant at the age of twenty, driven from his hometown by rejection and heartbreak, but thirteen years after abandoning his home and family, Dean finds himself drawn back to the town by the promise of investigating the apparent reemergence of the supernatural creature responsible for Dean’s childhood nightmares. Once back in Point Pleasant, Dean is confronted not only by the town’s resident monster, the Mothman, but also by his childhood best friend, Castiel Novak. Together, with Bobby Singer—the old drunk who lives on the edge of town—Dean and Castiel uncover the mystery of Point Pleasant’s Mothman in all its terrifying reality. Point Pleasant is a horror story, but aims to show that the ghosts that haunt us are sometimes made of flesh and blood. And sometimes, they lead us home.

GO AND READ THIS RIGHT NOW. WHEN I SAY RIGHT NOW I MEAN GO CLICK ON THE LINK CLOSE EVERYTHING ELSE AND START READING THIS BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT GONNA REGRET IT IT’S JUST SO GOOD I CAN’T ASDFGHJKL

Show Me How to Love (And I’ll Show You How to Live)
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 29,000
Summary:  Dean’s broken and he’s 95% sure he’s always been broken. He’s a Fed because he used to believe it would do some good and now? He’s not so sure. Castiel knows he’s broken and he can’t be fixed. He does as he’s told, kills who his uncle tells him to kill, and pretends that the nightmares don’t wake him up anymore. But they find some solace, some peace in each other, until the day it all comes crashing down.

THIS FIC WAS EXTRAORDINARY EXPERIENCE. Beautiful. I cried. A lot. I’m crying right now. Mute!Cas, homophobia, extreme descriptions of murder etc; mind the warnings please.

So I hope this helped you and I wish you to enjoy your time reading these. Take care :3

dontblinkmywaywarddetective:

Antz

Bee Movie

Chicken Run

Flushed Away

How to Train Your Dragon

Joseph King of Dreams

Kung Fu Panda

Kung Fu Panda 2

Madagascar

Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa

Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted

Megamind

Monsters vs Aliens

Over the Hedge

Puss in Boots

Rise of the Guardians

Shark Tale

Shrek

Shrek 2

Shrek the Third

Shrek Forever After

Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas

Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron

The Prince of Egypt

The Road to El Dorado

thoughtsintospace:

QUEEN OF HEARTS | fairy tale series

Excuse me but I think you’re crazy
Not like crazy ‘ha-ha’
I mean,
Crazy, crazy, insane